14.4.20

I was in London with my mum and we were trying to get the bus (36) to the Tesco just around the corner, this was a bus station so all buses pass through it. After missing the intended 36, my mum gets mad at me for being foolish. Then I realise that we could just catch any bus and it would take us to Tesco and there was no point in panicking. When I get on the bus I realise it is a school bus with everyone from Camborne 6th form on it. They are on there way to another scool to compete in a variety of competitions.I look down, I am wearing my primary school summer uniform, a checkered red dress. When we arrive the two schools are instructed to sit on opposite tables spanning the length of the sports hall (like the house tables in Harry Potter).I realise it's an eating competiton. Two people from each school are to be selected to eat the most Singaporean food. I was selected by my team. Molly says to me "you're great at this". I blurt out " I can't eat" and don't participate.

Next, the sportshall has been cleared for a water fight against the two 6th forms. If you get wet you have to sit out. I look down at my hand. my thumb is broken it is bending all the way backwards at the joint and laying folded against the rest of my thumb. I say "I can't take part yet" and head off to find the school nurse, wander aroud the school, searching in all the classrooms, but i can find it anywhere because i'd never been to this school before. I head back and realise the nurses office was attatched to the sports hall all along. I peer into the medical room, someone is on the bed flailling around.Its one of the teachers from the other school( but also it's Matt lucas ?). I say "i'll come back later".The nurse informs me that he tried to kill himself by drinking the soapy water usually put in the water pistols, but says that he will recover as the soapy water wasn't strong enough to be fatal. I take the remaining soapy water and tried some, realising it's not going to kill me,I stop. I put the remaing water into a squirty bottle and head back into the sports hall, the only people left are a few of my team and the head teacher from the other school, but he appears to be winning.My team members are cowering in an adjacent room. I sprint and jump then spin around in the air , firing the water in every direction. I do it so quickly that the head teacher didn't see it coming and I hit him with my water.I look around a bit confused, I won the game for our school. Despite being victorious i feel no sense of accomplishment

15.4.20

I am in my grandma's house with my Aunt, Uncle, Mum and Cousins but my Grandma isn't there. The rest of my family leave the room ,to go to the kitchen,leaving just me and my younger cousin to prepare the board for scrabble in the living room. I am confused because I thought scrabble was already prepared straight out of the box. She gives me a squashed pannini loaf with a bread knife and instructs me to cut the playing peices out of the bread. She mentions how the bottom end of the bread is soggy but I cut it into squares anyway. When I look at my cousin to seek her approval fo the task I have done, I see her hands are cut and bleeding. We run into the kitchen and go get her mum. I explain how she never went near the knife and that I was cutting the bread safely. She says "you always end up hurting others even when they're not involved. You shouldn't always be let off for the things you do". She wraps loo roll around her child's bloody hands. Then, my family re-enter the room to play. I go to draw the usual 7 peices but I am told off because they are playing the next level version of scrabble.In this version you have to take 25 peices out and you're allowed to make up words if they sound passable ( as though a non English speaker could recognise the sound patterns as the English language despite the word not existing).

Next, I am at my Grandma's house (but it's in the Swiss Alps now and not Devon). The setting is silimar to that described in Heidi. She lives at the top of a green grassed mountain. The incline is steap in all directions and there are no roads to the house.It's not scary it's very beaytiful and sunny). I notice she has lots of sledges ouside her house and ask if I could use one to slide down the grassy mountain. She warns me " thats how you're grandad died" she points at a patch of grass where it was been flattened down at there are skidmarks in a chaotic pattern. She then explains how he was sledging down on the grass; lost control; span around; fell off the sledge and died. I ignore her advice and slide down the mountain. Half way down I lose control and the sledge starts shaking side-to-side. I am petrified. But I eventually regain control and enjoy the rest of the way down the mountain.

Now I am in a desert with dry sand as deep as my waist. Infront of me is a large wherehouse. There's a go kart building competition going on. I take part with one of the teams. At the end of the build each team has to do a little performance and show off the look of their vehicle ( like at the start of Red Bull Soapbox race). We watch all the other teams perform, then it gets to our turn, the three members of our team stand up then realise we prepared nothing. The three of us whisper in eachother ears to work out what to do. We realised we spent too much time admiring the light weight aluminium frame to prepare anything so we sit down again.

I step out of the warehouse and back into the waist deep sand, I intend to walk the perimeter of the building. Notice there are these little lizards everywhere. They look like small white and pink koi fish with there fins bent to be feet (like how a seals front feet are flippers) They are called silver fish and are the size of my hand. I am disgusted by them, they're gross. I look over to the other end of the warehouse and see Feyona talking to her friend. I wave at her but she ignores me or doesn't see me.So I walk over to her and she hugs me she is excited to see me. "I've missed you" she says. I agree but I don't feel that I missed her at all. I try to head back into the warehouse but the silver fish are above all the door ways. The thought of one of them dropping off and landing on me deters me from entering. A bouncer reassures me that they are harmless but the give me a bad vibe. After walking five meters back from the doorway I run into the builing to aviod them falling on me. I land on the floor surrounded by the sand I bought in with me. But I avoided the silver fish.

16.4.20

I am queuing with my brother and dad at a seaside town. It's very early on a winter's morning, thus it's dark and misty making visibility poor. The queue is vast and extends beyond the barrier of mist. Streetlights line the pavement resulting in orange orbs of light which appear to be floating above every 10 people. Everyone is queuing to go on the pier however because its so early it hasn't opened yet. Reaching above the peir is a tower (like weymouth jurassic skyline ). The operator walks down the queue counting the first round of people able to go on it. We are in this selection.

Once on, the platform started to rise. The poor conditions meant the illuminated street below began to dim and darknessed started to close in. Condensation was formed on the inner windows due the the chilly exterior conditions. I wiped the window and soggied my sleeve. Then the last of the light dwindled and we were plummeted into darkness.

17.4.20

I am at uni an open day with my mum when we were greeted by a hunched over man with learning difficulties [he does something bad to me but I can't remember what]. We walked into a vast room, hung from the ceilling were actual-sized aeroplanes, helicopters and other flying vehicles. They were suspended in a cirle like a giant mobile. The man from the uni instucted me to get inside the Spitfire, it lowered down to my level. Once in, I was hoisted up within the plane and all the aircraft started to fly around the center of the room. The pace increased until I was soaring too fast; my equanimity stated to waver. I had no control.

Afterwards, I parted with my mum and met a police officer (he was to be my tour guide). We walked towards an expansive grey naval aircraft carrier. Once deep into the vessel we heared shouting and screaming. He ushered me into a nearby dorm room and instructed that I hid behind a bunk bed. The pounding of boots on steel echoed along the corridors. The officer's hand reached beside his hip to clutch a gun. Carefully, he stepped towards the doorway which was illuminated by a flickering bulb. All, of a sudden some man-like creature slashed his flesh before he could even shoot his gun (at this point I have wedged myself under the bed). His body slammed against the floor and two dying eyes met mine. The last thing I see is the life leaving his visage and blood pooling towards me. I know I'm next. Other things remembered:
I was on a snowy slope trying to follow a Husky puppy but unable to walk up it because it was too icy. Consequently, I kept returning to my starting position.

18.4.20

The world was in chaos and it seemed to be as though the government had lost control. To escape the anarchy I moved to Scily. Other teens people had done the same. This resulted in there being appartments built to hold people in groups of four. I was grouped with the guy I first slept with. To prevent either of us feeling uncomfortable I was trying to engage in conversation. I was unsure whether the situation was awkward or not so I set out to talk to him normally. Although when we were in the appartment with our other housemates he acted like he didnt know me. I was furious inside because all I wanted was to be his aquaintance.

Once again, I found my self in my Grandma's house and she's not there but my Aunt, Brother and two cousins are. It seems I have moved in with my Aunt. It was coming up to lunch time so my aunt was preparing food outside in the sun with my cousins and myself sat around her socialising. I was unsure of someone preparing a meal for me as I thought if I'm going to be living here a while, and their cuisine is more energy dense than my usual, I will end up getting fat. However,she makes a salad with leaves and chopped tomatoes. Just when I think it's okay my cousin pours a large amount of olive oil onto it.

20.4.20

I found myslef in a charity shop with two of my friends from secondary school, we were trying on clothes.They both find nice outfits to buy. I, however, find a wetsuit. I put it on and went to walk out the shop. The casheir called me up for tying to steal it so I paid her £2.50. Insulted by the fee, she held her hand out to me. I gave her an additional 10p and the debt was repayed.The black night was now upon us. I walked alone in the dark wearing my wetsuit, when I saw a light coming from the dunes on a beach. Cautiously,I made my way towards it .Two large unbrellas had been pushed into the sand to create a sort of igloo. I peared in and saw a young man, not much older than me. His face was warm and welcoming so I asked if I could come in. A benevolent grin confirmed my request, the atmosphere was so inviting. I can't remeber what we talked about but it felt like I was under the umbrellas for hours just laughing and chatting with this stranger. Unrelated to the first half:
I woke up in a white bed in a bright room, lying beside me was my partner. He was a slim nigerian man in his 30s, I was similarly aged. He sat up and looked at me with loving eyes. "You're going to love today" he announced. I had a strong inkling he was going to propose to me. We left the linen sheets to get ready, he donned a purple silk shirt and rubbed his hands over his smooth shaven head. Holding my hand, he led me into a cafe. There was a fridge filled with all kinds of cakes, the salted caramel cake looked gorgeous, it was hidden behind a white wedding cake.. He goes to order us two black coffees and some cake. "what would you like?" he asks me. I point at the caramel one, "what about a slice of the wedding cake? I seems fitting" he smirks and orders both. Our order arrived shortly after sitting down. I was unable to swallow any of the cake so I chew it then spit each bite inta a napkin. Embaraced, I run out into the street and slip into a neighbouring pub. The fire place is lit in the main seating area. THe chairs are set up in the cicle with midddle aged women occupying them. I see a sign propped up on the table stating there is Vaginal Support group underway. A woman in a long black laced dress stands up infront of the fireplace to adress the group. Just as she is about to open her mouth, the train to her dress catches alight and she is engulfed by flames within seconds. He flesh seemed to be made of paper, judging by the way flecks of ash plummed into the air and danced before lightly falling onto the well used carpet. All that remained of her was her skeleton, except this was no made of bone it had been formed of metal wire sculpted into a human form.

22.4.20

My dad was holding a box of take away chips whilst my brother and I leaned against the concrete wall of a bridge. Upon further inspection it seems to be the dam at Argal Reservoir however It is now a walkway between to sides of a large water park. My dad is debating wether one portion of chips was enough for three people, I put his mind at rest as I know they'll only really be for two. At the top of a perfectly sloped hill there is a pine forset spanning just the apex. The night is still and cloudless allowing the moon to illuminate the trees, consequently resulting in a conglomeration of pointy shadows. Shaded figures were collecting outside the forest, I felt inclined to join them. Once I was close enough, I was able to see that the the gathering were staring into the woods which had been meticulously cut into a maze. However the hollowed out walkways were only high enough for the shortest children. Suddenly we all ran into the thicket. I kept running and ducking under all the branches,it semmed the maze was actually a never ending circuit .Between the branches I saw everyone else sprinting. This vortex of racing continued.

23.4.20

The weather was warm and the sky cloudless. My brother and I were cycling as fast as we could, racing along an empty road, down into the valley where a seaside town from my childhood was located.We parted ways and I headed to a city.When I arrived at the city I went to check into a budget hotel. Waiting at the desk was Joseph, we wheeled our suit cases up to our room. The furniture consisted of a lone double bed with a single yellow stripe on the duvet cover (it appeared that this was meant to go at the bottom of the bed however the duvet was wrongly layed by 90 degrees).Due to it becoming the evening Joseph had a shower and we go to sleep on our respective sides of the bed. The next day we met Lola at the reception. There was a carnival on the other side of the city with many fair rides. Together we walked to the bus stop, once there I gave Lola a fake bus pass I made whilst Joseph and I found our genuine ones. Almost immediately a double decker bus appeared, it was almost full with people heading to the fairground. Joseph goes on first, the bus driver looks dubiosly at his pass and says it was out dated because it expired at the end of term but let him on. Next I got on, he says the same for mine but grants me a ride after very closely inspecting it.Finally, Lola gets on, I am very concerned, I worry that the bus driver will realize it is copy of mine. Anticipating him to deny her, I stood at the foot of the staircase staring at Lola as she nervously met my gaze.That was when I realized we were no longer in Cornwall and that our passes shouldn't have even worked at all. After much deliberation we all sit up at the front of the top deck. I looked out over the city and saw the top of a penduluum ride swinging, this was what I wanted to go on.I felt my pocket and realized I had left my money at the hotel. I said I could get off the bus to go the hotel to get it then meet them in the fair because otherwise I wouldn't be able to go on any of the rides. Lola says I can use her money because she was leaving soon anyway. I was confused because we all planned to go together.

26.4.20

I was at a ski resort with Lily and my Aunt's family, all the way down the slopes were bedside tables and mini bouncy castles (it seemed people were using them as beds). Whilst wandering through the snow I got cold so headed into a nearby cabin. Inside there were two single beds, an unlit log burner and a TV. The room was adorned by cobwebs and was barely lit (a blue-grey light cast dusty shadows). I lied on one of the beds,then felt an arm intimmately reach around my waist. Once I'd turn to face the guy in the bed with me he tried to kiss me. I squirmed. Once out of his embrace I explained that I was uncomfortable and wasn't okay with that level of a relationship. I wanted to allow myself to be loved, the hug was not meant in any way other than kindness, however I felt unworthy.Then the Tv turned on, displaying a show about hunting in an Arctic landscape. Badgers were being put through machines which squashed out their insides and left behind an empty carcas around 5m long. The carcasses were laid over a river to block aquatic life flowing down.

27.4.20

I was with my grandma at her house, she apologised to me because the contents of her fruit bowl was mouldy. She attempted to make it up to me by taking us to a supermarket to restock. Once there, my brother and myself scanned the shelves for apples, I found some Pink Lady apples however my brother says they're too expensive to make my Grandma pay for it so we settled for the cheapest. We tried to find my Grandma to put them in her shopping basket but when we spot her she was hunched in the corner crying (crippled by exhaustion from leaving her house). Inbetween sniffles she explained that she had no energy. I left my Gran and brother to head further into the shop. When I looked at my shoulder I saw my cat (Ollie) seated on it as though he were a pirate's feathered aquaintance. whilst I strolled through the aisles Ollie followed me by leaping over shelves and displays. I stopped when a worker asked me if I'd participate in a questionnaire. I had to state whether I prefered tea or coffee, then I had to indicate my favoured quantity of milk and sugar. After announcing my preference was in fact hot water, I headed upstairs. On the next floor there was a dimly lit antique store. The carpet was old and well troden leaving a few smooth fiberless patches where foot traffic was frequent , this caused me to slip over and fall on to my back. Once on my feet again I saw an old friend seaching through the racks of vintage clothing. She pulled out a night gown and asked me if she thought it would fit her around the arms (she was a bit overweight). I looked at the slim sleeves and said " It wouldn't even fit me".

29.4.20

There was a man busking in a city, I offered to play keyboard for him. I thought the man coming up to me was going to put money in the hat, however his hand reached towards my chest. After groping me he disappeared into the crowd. Next, I found myself on a bus out of the city. A lady tapped on my shoulder and pointed into the center of the road. Lying there was a dead black spaniel.

30.4.20

I was on a house teetering of a cliff. To avoid falling to my death with the buiding I launch my body through a window on the opposite side of the house. Glass shatters and I land onto the ground. The house falls off the cliff behind me.

5.5.20

My friend is leaving to travel somewhere for a long time so I was in her house saying goodbye, we hugged a lot. Once we'd said our final goodbyes I hid in her bathroom.

Unrelated (?) : I was standing on the edge of a motorway brdge high above a river, I was contemplating jumping, I can't remember if I did or not.

7.5.20

I pitch my tent in a steep field with other tents at night. Two teenage lads poke out from there tent and mock me. I look down the hill toward the entrance to a woods. A child runs from it and all the people camping and local villagers run to it. The young blond boy says a cryptic riddle. He was covered in bruises. He says he was being murdered, the riddle revealed the identity of the murderer. We all looked at eachother trying to work out who killed this boy ( this figure telling us the riddle appeared to be his ghost). I leave the scene and head to a beach looking over the moons reflection on the sea. A huge ferry goes past and docks nearby, I hear screams from it, I think they were all being murdered. Then i turn to the stars admiring their beauty, a cloud draws over the sky and is illuminated by the moon. I couldn't help but to feel serenity under the night sky and clouds (clouds are even cool at night).

8.5.20

I am in a Minecraft jungle and am trying to fight another player, I fly around tring to place bombs on him, Lola appears in gold armour to help me because I'm doig a bad job. This gives me time to mine a stone block to make my own armour. I'm not sure of the outcome of the battle as I had flown to the otherside of the map. The hill that had caught my attention was intriguing becasue there was a massive roasted turkey situated semi submergeed in the summit. The turkey exposed was as high as the hill it was buried in. Scattered around the hill there were turkey coloured blocks. I saw an odd looking arrangement of 6 turkey coloured blocks in the shape of a rectangle, I assumed this was a door so mined it down. Concealed under the turkey hill was a dark tunnel with brick walls and ceiling (the design reminded me of the aesthetic of temple run)

I leave the scary looking tunnel and return to the jungle where I meet Joseph, we are looking for something but I can't remember what. Behind a tree we spot white vintage looking fridge. We both step inside the fridge it was well lit and had some mouldy looking food in it. In the fridge there was a note stating that a few of the tupperwares 'contains foie gras'. Joseph and I had a brief discussion about how unethical this was then exited the fridge.

We then meet up with Lola> and began a hunt for an evil person in control of the world. After walking we stumble across this lake, suspended from the trees around it were rope bridges and nets. I climb through this and go in the water, the others follow. Then we all start flying in a circle around the lake ,searching. We aren't flying like Minecraft characters anymore, we're lying parallel to the ground and soaring. Lola's eyes meet mine and she says "you can lucid dream" then I take control of my motion and fly in sporadic loops. This ability quickly goes and I'm standing in the lake again. I notice the lake feeds into a waterfall so I try and wade away from the drop. I call out to Lola, she reassures me that I am stronger than the current and have nothing to fear. But from initially being many meters away from the drop, I was now 2... I fall down.

The waterfall dropped into a slow but waist height river. Either sides of me were red clay cliffs reaching up many many meters. Lola and Joseph both drop down the waterfall to join me. Lola is holding a samuri sword. Waded down stream, I looked in the river bank and saw a muddy silver object embedded in the clay, after a hard yoink I had my own samuri sword. We see a builiding situated in the riverbank so head to it. Once inside we saw what looked to be public toilets, there were two blue cublicles so I waited whilst the others used it. Then an obese man entered the room , he was wearing a white tank top and had black chest hairs poking above it. He inches his was towards me,cigar in his mouth, I'm corned in the room. Then he forces me onto the floor and pins me down whilst crawling above me. I call out for help and for him to stop, but he continues to touch me.

9.5.20

I am waiting with members of my school to get on a coach for a trip. We were all told to get suncream but I forgot so I hand my backpack to someone and run to find some. Once I'm back with my class mates, a teacher runs out of the nearby house and apologises for being late, her house was completely covered in purple crochet. After a bus ride we arrive at a city, there is a protest going on. All around are painted cardboard signs with motivational notes painted on them. We all stand in a large circle and start sing whilst moving to the tune ( it was like a version of hokey kokey where every other person would go into the center, walk out and then alternate). I see Matt hiding in a bin, he says he angered the government by running bare footed so he had to hide . He says the worst part about his experience was that he was saddened by seeing a child in the bin before he got to hide in it.

I head off to join my Aunts family (who cycled here) in the protest march, say hi and walk around the middle of the march with them. I turn a wrong corner and end up at the very front of the march, an old lady is struggling to hold a massive red banner. I offer to take one side. It says 'In loving memory of Sheffeilda'. This was the name of her sister who died in a similar protest. We have a long chat whilst marching and the banner progressively gets more droopy.

At the end of the march I rejoin my Aunts family and we head to a nearby restraunt, as soon as we sit down our dishes arrive. Mine was a small twisted spiral of spaghetti on a peice of cucumber on a peice of toasted baguette, next to it was a single peice of garlic bread. My uncle asks if this is going to be enough considering the cycle back , I state it's fine. I look over my shoulder and see a really tall old grey stone wall. Standing at the top were french men and at the base were large pots of tomato sauce. They were stiring the sauce with a pole made out of about 15 taped together pink silicone spatulas.

I arrive at my chool ( not sure how), there was a shakespeare production going on in the hall and now the cast are answering audience questions. One of them passionately says how all airvents are actually called 'Lochs' (like the scottish body of water).Confused, I walk away from the hall. Queing up to go into a class is Liv (but she has a bob), she runs over to me and we have a massive hug. Then we pull apart and I see Calypso, she also runs over and we hug.

Other thing remembered: I listened to Song for Caden and thought 'I get it'

10.5.20

I was in a London pub with my brother but noticed a man I'd flirted with to get free drinks before so I tell Eli we have to leave and we runthrough the capital's dimly lit streets.

It's now day time and im still in london but with my mum, we see people dressed up as giant rubber Lord Farquaads. We head to where they seem to be coming from. It looked like one of those indoor skydiving wind tunnels. I left my mum and got in it. It fired my up into the air into a creater of a dormant volcano which had a prison built onto it. Except there weren't any real buildings, instead people were being held in net cages pilled up on eachother (see diagram below). A lady in charge asks me if i want to shoot one of the defence gunst lining the outside of the creater as that is a tradition to be done daily. There were many othere guns (like WW2 anti aircraft guns) posiitioned around the edge. As soon as they were all shot I knew something was wrong, the lady turned to me and said we accidentally blew up a nearby village so I'd have to stay here now.

I went in one of the net cage , one up from the ground. Everyone gets fed by large blueberries (the size of a skull) being put in the top and then making there way down. Therefore the person at the bottom is left with mouldy blueberries. I look into the mesh cage below me and it's my ex. I manage to squeeze throuth the netting to join him in his cell, we catch up and have a nice chat but its's obvious he's uncomforable with my presence. I lie next to him with the intention of sleeping but he wispers " what about *INSERT NEW GF NAME HERE*?" . I explain he has me misunderstood as all I wanted to do was lie down.

Also remembered: At Lola's house and Julie is complaining about ironing, my old friend is painting white flowers but decides to paint over them to be white flowers, I broke my phone screen, I said I liked Slater (unrelated).

19.5.20

I dropped my nice fountain pen on the floor, the nib snapped off and broke.

20.5.20

It was the first week of June and schools were open again. I was in Swansea uni ,the lecturers were asking me if I wanted to start thinking about ideas on my final project. I say it's a bit early considering I'm inmy first year of A levels. I had another look at the lecturers and they were my year 11 Design teachers,they show me a lamp which needs screwing to the wall.

In London now, have a river tour on a barge. It was a very mossy and tight cannal, the woman steering the canal boat had to quickly steer into the wrong side of each corner to get enough momentum to quickly bounce around it. We arrive at someone's house boat to tour it ( the model of boat was never put sold commercially as it didn't pass final checks). It was massive and we'll furnished (like a show home). In the kitchen the lemon zester is full of juice so I empty it. I did't want to go back to London on the barge so I hide in the house boat. After a few minutes the tour boat drives back after realising I was missing. It brings me further down the canal to join the rest of the people on the tour, everyones swimming and jumping in the canal having fun. People were splashing and playing with inflatable balls. I had a deflated Zorb ball.

At a greenhouse, lots of fresh grown veg.

Joseph cooks me a full English breakfast, as I eat it my mum comments on how much there is and how I'd never be able to finish it as she would certainly be unable to.

I wrote down my dream in my dream (this caused me to wake up very confused when my pad of paper was empty beside my bed).

8.6.20

Loveday looks at the cuts on my arm and asks how they got there. I murmur "I don't know". She responds "I think I do."